Whether you want to ask your waitress out or you’re looking to get a mature woman’s number by also asking her to come over, the basics are the same. A little confidence goes a long way, but you can’t be too forward.

Let’s take a look at how to ask a girl to come over without running the risk of her shaming you on Facebook.

Use humor

What’s one of the easiest ways to ask a girl to come over? Be funny.

I love the scene in “Groundhog Day” where Bill Murray is trying to convince Andie MacDowell to go up to his hotel room. She says that she doesn’t usually put out on a first date and he says neither does he.

“That’s why I’m gonna show you this one thing and kick you right out.”

Offer to keep the date going

The date has been going so well. You’ve clearly both been enjoying it, but it’s now over. The restaurant is closing, the bar is closed, the end credits at the cinema are rolling.

Rats. It’s time to go home and guess what? You’re busy for the next two weeks and aren’t sure when you’ll be able to see her again. You want to know for sure if she likes you, but you feel like she’s up for more tonight.

Employ the rule of threes

Asking a girl to come over doesn’t have to be as bland as giving her three options — get her to give you her number, go home or come back to mine. It could be as interesting as offering her three options. I like to use the rule of threes a lot. This is when you present with her two serious options and a third humorous one. For example:

“So this place is about to close. I guess we could end it here and say our farewells, go back to mine for some movies and cake, or go see my mom and her five cats that I’m pretty sure want to kill me. What do you think?”

Use the contrast principle

In human psychology, there’s this thing called the contrast principle — where a second option that is presented immediately after a first option can be perceived differently than it really is if the first option was so different from it..